What is God trying to teach me?

At the end of last year I was pondering about my word for the year. I just felt a strong sense that God wanted me to work on the word "Release" in my life. This is what I put at the top of my blog for the year.

 "2020 word of the year- Release

Release control of what I can't control. Release worry. Release fear. Release..."

I had no idea that less than three months later our world would be turned upside down. Schools have been released with a possibility that they may not re-open until fall. My business has had to make huge adjustments, only allowing 10 customers at a time, the uncertainty whether we will even be able to stay open. A growing pandemic that covers all the media, everyone's conversation and has my special needs 14 yo in a state of distress. Worry and fear for my loved ones. A desire to go see my family and knowing that I can't or I put them at risk. Fear for my nephew who is fighting for his life! I've even lost the ability to worship together with my church family

Last night I went to bed feeling like I couldn't even breathe much less relax enough to sleep. God brought back to my mind my word. 

Release

Release control of what I can't control

Release worry

Release fear

Release...

I can spend all of my time worrying about things and what might happen or I can make plans to prepare and cope with life right now. I'm not giving up but I am not going let fear and worry consume me. 

Somehow I'm going to have to come up with a plan to keep my business afloat as well as making sure my boys are not slacking in their education. My youngest also needs a routine to help him cope so I have to figure out what that's going to look like. As an extrovert I'm going to have to figure out how to feed that part of my life as well. 

I was at a ladies retreat two weeks ago and we were challenged to carve out an hour a week for rest, however that looks for us. It didn't seem so tough two weeks ago, but now I have no idea how I will be able to find an hour to myself. I'm going to have to dig for that time but I think it's going to be important right now. 

We are all facing a challenge like we've never faced before. Of all the scenarios I've had in my dreams or nightmares of life-changing events this was not on the list. It's frightening! It's overwhelming! But I know that God is bigger than global pandemics, He's bigger than cancer, He's bigger than my business problems and He's bigger than my son's fear and stress. So, as I work on learning to release these things to God I'll be praying for all of you to do the same.

Love,

Kris